So often I wonder, why me? I know we shouldn't ask these things because in a way you question what the LORD has planned for us, but it is human nature to wonder why GOD would trust me so much to handle these situations!!!

For example, the money situation...I went from $30-40,000 to $11,000 a year. I know..unbelievable huh? That I make rent, NIPSCO, water, sewer on that??? It blows my mind when I think about it.

Having MS...just when I think I'm getting past a major hurdle, one gets thrown back into the mix!!!

I woke up today and I started with a possible chest cold and blurry vision again. So if this has misspells...sorry!!! Can't do much about that...although I do try my best because it really irks me!!! So, I have a final today in Soups, Stocks and Sauces and I cannot participate because of my vision. I cannot even drive right now because the right eye is so bad.

I also was basically kicked in the gut the other day. The day treatment doctor is recommending that Jake be put in Residential Treatment because Jake feels that the rules don't apply to him. He is really manic right now and we are trying to get his meds right. I called Brian and he doesn't like the idea but so far is not going to fight me. At least that is what he told me. I haven't decided yet on what to do and can't really until we get some meds straight because he isn't like that when he has the meds ok. But if he gets bad again, I have no choice but to do so. :( He will have to be hospitalized and then transferred or at least get the ball rolling for it but he has to be in a acute care first. It is a major decision that is basically carried by me. It isn't like Brian will meet me there...he'll have some excuse why he can't be there...work, the other kids, his GF...something will be more important than him. It is scarry and HUGE for me to do this!!

As for Alicia and that incident...the girl's BF went up to Alicia yesterday and asked her if she was Alicia and she said yeah and he went across the way and showed her to his friends and said that's Alicia. Great...so now we are worried of a huge group of black kids jumping her now. It doesn't end!! She told the asst. Principal about it, but really..what can he do? He has alerted everyone, but if they want it done..it'll be done. She is a prisioner in her school and at her home!! I have even borrowed a high powered paint ball gun to protect her!! I do not believe in guns and will never own one or fire one again!! But I do believe in non-lethal ways to protect us. I am a woman who is disabled and I will NOT be intimidated or scared to protect myself or children. They may see me weak, but meet Mr. Paintball that can poke YOUR eye out!!! LOL Just like a BB Gun in the Christmas Story but this time I have CO2 to help that! lol But seriously folks, it is tooooo scary nowadays!

I'll Write some more soon, my mom just called and I need to relay this info to her.


Bonny said...

Hi April
I'm sure you are struggling with a decision about your son. I know it is so hard to deal with things like this about our kids. I will be praying for you and your family.