5/19/2009

What to Think???

Not sure what to think anymore. The last two weeks have been a blur because of the constant sleeping. I had weakness, heart palpitations, no energy..period. The last time I had the heart thingie, my doc found I had low potassium. So I still had pills from the last time and have been taking them. It started turning around Sunday night. I felt more energetic, not so sleepy and the heart palpitations were hardly happening. Well, this morning I was tired again and slept all day. I'm tired again and have no energy. I talked to several friends who are long time paramedics and they didn't tell me anything I didn't already know. I was worried about calling the doc because
1. I didn't want to be put in the hosptial

2. I couldn't get to the office for a blood test, I couldn't drive!!!

Soooo, I put it off until today. I called in at 2:30pm and it's now 5:38pm and no one has called. I guess I should give them more time, but how long does it take to ask a dr. what she wants to do unless she is not there and it'll wait until tomorrow? If I'm still really pooped in the AM, I guess I should go in after the kids leave. I'm just kind of scares of what they'll tell me. I don't think it is the MS this time, I really think something else is going on...but what that is..I'm totally stumped!!!

Th eone things that was awesome was that last night things were kind of bad with Jake. With his meds screwed up because of his Butthead father this last weekend, he was out of control. Alicia had a very hard time dealing with him and it escalated until both kids had a meltdown. They finally calmed down and last night they made up on their own after explaining to Alicia about his meds and what happens when his meds are messed up an ENTIRE weekend. This morning Alicia woke up, she went and woke Jake up and he actually got up right away without ANY drama!! He actually made his own lunch and packed it. AND the best part of all, she gave him a hug and told him to have a great day at school. All together...AWWWWWWWW! I was so proud of them both. I guess good things happen when you wait long enough for it...or at least until tonight right??? lol Well at least I have the memory until all heck breaks loose again! HA!

Other than that, my NCIS show isn't on today for the usual 3 hr marathon so I'm going to go on facebook (I'm so addicted to it now!) and gett up to speed. So that is why I didn't post and there was so much chaos but at that point I just didn't care because I was so tired. Literally, I spent almost 2 weeks in my bed. Ugh...I love my bed that the head and feet can be electrically adjusted but tired of being in it! ugh!

::hugs & kisses::

5/18/2009

Late Night Rambling.

Somany things have been happening, I am not sure where to begin. Something happened to me and the docs and I think it was low potassium but I have not been able to get back to the doc to do a repeat blood test. I was down for about 10 days with heart arrythmias, sleeping 24/7, weak, unable to concentrate and just basically sleeping all the time....I had NO energy what so ever!! Luckily I had potassium pills from the last time this happened, so I took those and not I am feeling better. Not out of the woods, but I have more energy and I actually did 5 loads of laundry (it's a double front loader). Thank goodness we think it is a metabolic thing and not the MS. We do have to keep a close eye to make sure this isn't a relapse...ugh. Like i need this now!

Jake went to his dad's this last weekend. He did not call me and tell me one of his meds was missing. He tried to compensate but ended up screwing up the meds. So it's written in black and white and because he doesn't want to call me, he chooses to try and figure it out himself. But this is the same man who basically tells me that he can't make any appts because he has too work. When it comes to the doc appt for the kids, he has anyone else take them. If he has to deal with any of it, he can't cope or something. He frustrates the heck out of me. I can't tell you how many times I have sat and cried because of his mistakes or doing something so ignorant. Anytime we went in front of the judge tho, he came out like a saint. I somehow got the wrong end of the stick. I can't hate him, but if anyone besides his mother could be so evil as Satan...he would be it!!!!!!!!

Alicia has madesome really good choices lately but I will have to blog more because now that I decomperessed, I am unable to keep my eyes open....

If you stopped by and the page wsas different, I'm sorry! I am always trying to find a nice, clean, readable template that makes it look reallly nice because I want it to reflect who I am and what this is about.

Well words are meshing..love ya all!

::hugs & kisses::

5/06/2009

Out of sorts...

Well this has been one heck of a week and a half! Alicia decided to move to her dads and before she left, I told her if she moved, she couldn't move back. So she didn't take her things and decided not to move after all. It was partly my fault because the words that flew out of my mouth weren't what I meant, but it was how it sounded and things just went from bad to worse. I couldn't even blog about it, because it hurt so bad. I couldn't completely blame her for feeling like she did. Jake's behavior was way over the top and it was beyond frustrating trying to deal with him.

Jake's behavior went from bad to oh so bad and worse these last few months. I kept complaining to the doc about him, but he just adjusted this or that and wasn't truly hearing me. So we made a few major changes and if this doesn't work, then we will have to put him in the hospital and then apply for residential. But so far he is holding his own and not acting out badly.

In other news...my oldest son turns 18 in an hour and half. Can't believe my oldest will now be considered a man. I can still see that smiling, baby blue eyes and bleached white hair just running to me and bowling me over with love! He will ALWAYS be mommy's baby and I'll always feel like I never truly protected him but that is another blog to be read!

Me..I'm still the happy-go-lucky girl who believes in a fairy tale. Can't help being the romantic I am. I dream of a small town southern man sweeping me off of my feet and loving me and my kids as his own! Oh...what a DREAM! lol

I have dropped 40 lbs of water weight. The steroids have been wearing off and as usual, causing me to have migraines. But they have gotten somewhat better. Well, it's late and I should be getting to bed. But I thought I would write some while ttrying to get sleepy!

::hugs & kisses::