Why?

So often I wonder, why me? I know we shouldn't ask these things because in a way you question what the LORD has planned for us, but it is human nature to wonder why GOD would trust me so much to handle these situations!!!

For example, the money situation...I went from $30-40,000 to $11,000 a year. I know..unbelievable huh? That I make rent, NIPSCO, water, sewer on that??? It blows my mind when I think about it.

Having MS...just when I think I'm getting past a major hurdle, one gets thrown back into the mix!!!

I woke up today and I started with a possible chest cold and blurry vision again. So if this has misspells...sorry!!! Can't do much about that...although I do try my best because it really irks me!!! So, I have a final today in Soups, Stocks and Sauces and I cannot participate because of my vision. I cannot even drive right now because the right eye is so bad.

I also was basically kicked in the gut the other day. The day treatment doctor is recommending that Jake be put in Residential Treatment because Jake feels that the rules don't apply to him. He is really manic right now and we are trying to get his meds right. I called Brian and he doesn't like the idea but so far is not going to fight me. At least that is what he told me. I haven't decided yet on what to do and can't really until we get some meds straight because he isn't like that when he has the meds ok. But if he gets bad again, I have no choice but to do so. :( He will have to be hospitalized and then transferred or at least get the ball rolling for it but he has to be in a acute care first. It is a major decision that is basically carried by me. It isn't like Brian will meet me there...he'll have some excuse why he can't be there...work, the other kids, his GF...something will be more important than him. It is scarry and HUGE for me to do this!!

As for Alicia and that incident...the girl's BF went up to Alicia yesterday and asked her if she was Alicia and she said yeah and he went across the way and showed her to his friends and said that's Alicia. Great...so now we are worried of a huge group of black kids jumping her now. It doesn't end!! She told the asst. Principal about it, but really..what can he do? He has alerted everyone, but if they want it done..it'll be done. She is a prisioner in her school and at her home!! I have even borrowed a high powered paint ball gun to protect her!! I do not believe in guns and will never own one or fire one again!! But I do believe in non-lethal ways to protect us. I am a woman who is disabled and I will NOT be intimidated or scared to protect myself or children. They may see me weak, but meet Mr. Paintball that can poke YOUR eye out!!! LOL Just like a BB Gun in the Christmas Story but this time I have CO2 to help that! lol But seriously folks, it is tooooo scary nowadays!

I'll Write some more soon, my mom just called and I need to relay this info to her.

Rambling...

Well, it's been a while since I posted. I didn't have internet or TV for a few days because of nonpayment. It sucks to say, but I just couldn't afford to turn it back on right away. So, I'm back now!!! :)

Anyhoo, life has been interesting. On Wed, April 22nd, my daughter was punched in the face at Hobart High School. Now I knew I didn't get the whole story from Alicia, but it never justifies violence!! Basically, she told on a kid who was being disruptive in the movie theatre field trip. The kids were mad and some words were exchanged with a girl. This girl took her words and told another girl that my daughter said them about her. This girl got mad and went up to her and punched her in the face. She went down hitting her head on the wall behind her.

Many of the kids know that she has Orthostatic Hypotension.

She was able to stay home Friday and recoup. It's a shame that kids feel the need to hit, punch, kick, bite or resort to any other violence to prove themselves or to maintain their reputations. It hurts me to the core. It's werid though, I tried to set up a meeting with the Mayor and ended up leaving my paperwork there of how to help our kids say "no" to violence. Do you know that a so called friend of mine, who was "close" to the mayor took my ideas and used them!!!!! It makes me sick to no end!!! Luckily, I figured it out.

I have been having clustered migraine headaches again. A casualty of having steroid infusions. After about 3 months of the infusions, they start wearing off and the fluid level decreases in my body. Which result in the migraine because the pressure has changed within my brain. This usually takes around 2-3 weeks before I have almost complete relief.

On a positive note though, I have reconnected with some friends from high school and have even reestablished a friendship with him! I am so totally stoked about it. He has a lovely family..2 stepsons, a 4 yr old girl and a beautiful wife. I am so happy that his life turned out fairly well. He had his spined fused recently though, and went to college for computers and that is how we reconnected. I had 3 that needed work and one that was of no use to me. So for payment, he is taking that and fixing mine unless it costs a bit of money..then it will cost me but at his cost!! SOOO HAPPY!!!!

Well, it's getting late and I need to head to bed for church in the AM, so later gators!

::hugs & kisses::

Amazing Kid

Well, I wasn't going to blog today but something caught my eye just a few ago and thought I would share.

This kid is 14 and is fighting Brain Cancer. The parents created a blog for him to update everyone. The url is http://nathanwhitefamily.blogspot.com . Check them out and tI think this kids has more courage than anyone I know. I think all kids battling any Cancers, or debilitating disease is a HERO. Having MS helps me identify with these kids and it breaks my heart to hear or know so many out there are fighting for their life and a battle that may not be won. My heart and prayers go out to each and every child, adult or family dealing with such devastating issues!!!!

::hugs & kisses::

Headache City

Well, this week has sucked so far. I have been having headaches that won't go away. I take my migraine meds and they rebound again. I am calling the doc today because I refilled my migraine meds on Wed and already almost out!!!!UGHHHH!

As for everything else, it's good. Alicia is still grounded and obeying that. Her friend from school was out-of-school suspended because she called a girl a b*tch for pulling her pants AND underwear down (depantsing is what they call it.) to her ankles. Now I do not condone using profanity, but considering the circumstances, I believe that is way overboard!!! The girl also got 3 day OOS. The same punishment for both??? I really think that is not enough for her!!!! Just couldn't believe what things are coming to with our kids? Ya know??

On the other spectrum, Jake is fairing ok. He is still going to his special school and the doc and I both agreed that the school's testing has missed something with his diagnosis. So, until that is done, we will not really know all that is wrong with him. HIs handwriting is of a 2nd or 3rd grader. His comprehension level is about the same. I didn't know this would be his outcome all those days I spent in the NICU with him. I prayed daily for him to make it and now he struggles everyday and the school couldn't tell us why?!? Schools do not want to do for a kid or a mom who presses them for services!!!! IT's a shame ya know? I have watched the show on TLC, Table for 12 and I can identify with the mom to an extent with her having a special needs child. It isn't easy and all the dreams you had for them before you found out the problems,, are just gone. You still weeps years later for what you wanted for them because it hurts to know you brought this child into the world and they may never know the full worldly goodies that is out there for them. It just hurts....

Otherwise, just sleeping a lot right now because of the headaches. Today would be great to paint, but my head won't let me! ugh...the living room really needs that 2nd coat too!!! Oh well, I'll try and post more later.

Hugs & Kisses
XOXOXOXOXO

Good Morning!

Good morning y'all! Today was good. The kids got off to their respective schools ok. Now it is a lil' mommy time. Woke up with a headache, so trying to nurture that so that it doesn't turn into a migraine! So, sitting here watching Shrek 3 and blogging!

I have a final tomorrow and kind of worried about it. I don't want to see it go down in flames!! LITERALLY! LOL But what do ya do? My MS has seemed to level off some, so that is good! That means the MS will hopefully not cause me to lose my legs again! :)

Other than that..I'm going to lay down and then start cleaning..comcast suppose to come here to fix their mess again..imagine that!!

Wow.....long time!

Well...I know I haven't blogged in a while, but I stopped because I was afraid of leaking any information out that could jeopardize any court cases still ongoing. Now, I just don't care. I want to leave something behind for my kids, grandkids and others. Maybe oters can help me through all of this. It's crazy and hard being single and a woman in a household of teens! BUT, tonight was interesting.

My daughter decided to disobey me. I let her go with a few friends to the mall. Was not real sure about the driver, but I let her go on the condition of checking in every hour. She checked in for the 6pm one, but the 7 pm was missed. SO I called at 7:20pm and she was not happy I called her out on it. She became defensive and I told her under no certain terms to come home and hung up. I didn't check my cell and didn't know she texted my cell that she was going to the movies. AFTER telling her NO to come home. She went to the movies and I worried for 2 hours of where she was. She is grounded and can not leave the house to go out for 2 weeks. If she thinks I am going to relent, she is crazy!! I'm not going through all of this again and her father agreed on that. His words are useless to me but it encouraged me to calm down.

Jake had a bad night. He was throwing fits because I didn't feel well and COOK him dinner. Oh well, he finally settled when I told him I would call Dr. Leon and tell him about his behavior. That settled him more easily and redirect him in a better way.

Other than that, I'm recouping from a lonnnnng day yesterday. Because I took oral steroids, they messed up my tummy and heartburn is a horrible problem for me. It is especially hard on Multiple Sclerosis patients. So, I was sick yesterday and couldn't get up to go to class.I know it will hurt my grade, but because of being so weak, I didn't have the energy!

On a positive note, a friend of mine, Mike, has come back in my life as a friend. We always had a good time..playing games and such. He is having a hard time right now, but I am glad we are talking and interacting again. The kids always liked him and he was a great friend to me and them!! So, GOD is great and glad to have him back!!

It's 12:40am..so I am going to go. It's nice to be back and I'll blog some more of waht has been going on! :)